Gifts For Men are Designed to Appeal to Women

Or: Men would never buy manicure sets for themselves.

It’s the holiday shopping season so the Gifts for Men displays are prominently displayed. I’m talking about all the useless mini tool kits, cubicle sized sport and tavern games, golf tools, pocket crap and anything else only a woman would buy. The stuff is always cute. Cute little desktop dart games made of shiny brass, tiny green felt pool tables and roulette wheels. And of course the mainstay of all useless Gifts for Men; the mini tool kit. The reason it’s all cute is because it is designed to appeal to women. The displays should be labeled Gifts Women Like to Buy for Men.

Let’s start with the big one; The Mini Tool Kit. If you are buying this for a man who actually uses tools for things that require tools then buy one from an actual tool department. There are tool assortments that consist of quality tools, pocket multi-tools, and assortments that will actually be used. Stay away from the Gifts for Men display with a tool set that has a bunch of shiny plated soft-steel costume jewelry shaped like actual tools that is next to useless. This especially goes for manicure sets, any man that has one must have gotten it for a gift and will probably die without wearing it out.

Golf crap is next. I don’t know much about golf myself but I figure a bunch of good golf balls would be more appreciated than a gold plated combination divot tool and cigar cutter. Then there are the endless toy desktop putting greens, figurines, golf tees shaped like everything. Stuff that men would never buy themselves but a woman would think is a cute gift

Emergency car kits. OK emergency means you’re in deep and anything that can help in that situation is going to be a good thing. But why buy a gift you hope he never has to use. And how many times will he think of the nice gift you gave him tucked away back there in the trunk.

Cubicle crap. Any man who works at a desk and is on a female’s shopping list is a magnet for the mini-desktop darts game that is spotted in countless cubes and offices gathering dust but never being used. Usually a sheet of shiny brass with a dart target printed on a thin sheet of cork pasted to it and tiny thumbtack pointed darts. Sometimes the set includes a magnetic target and darts that are just as useless as the others. Often times there is a witty plaque saying Executive Darts or something like that. Somewhat more useful are the mini basketball hoops. This category is endless, mugs, mousepads, photo frames, kinetic sculptures and all that stuff a woman would find to be a good gift idea. If you want to get some cubicle crap that is occasionally useful then comic calendars, rear view monitor mirrors, mp3 players, USB powered thumb drives and somewhat more frivolous but bottom line fun are USB powered anything. Missile launchers, fans, lights, cameleon shaped cameras, coffee warmers whee!

Christmas anything. Men would never buy Christmas anything. Christmas underwear, socks, sweaters, ties, brain teasers with snowmen and Christmas trees for pieces, battery operated Christmas figures, wind-up Christmas figures, stationary Christmas figures. Let the kiddies buy this stuff for their dads and grandfathers who will have to wear and display them.

So the best rule of thumb is to avoid any Gifts for Men displays and any holiday patterns, sets, or packaging. That is a giveaway that they are over-priced and impractical. The object in buying for a man is to shoot for cool, not cute. If you must get him a toy go for a radio controlled mini indoor helicopter. Mini tool kit in a handy vinyl zipper pouch? Get a Leatherman. If you really want to buy him underwear then buy nice underwear, splurge on some good stuff that might be better than what he would buy himself. But avoid the Christmas patterns and stupid novelty packages. The same goes for other clothing.

Then of course it depends on the man and his habits but there are two age-old fail-safe staples of male gift giving; The box of cigars and the bottle of whiskey.

I hope this advice is useful to you or at least entertaining. If you truly are stuck for Gifts for Men try checking out my store at CallMeDutch.Com. There are many new and vintage watches and jewelry items there that men would like. That’s another subject I’ve observed; most women have no interest in buying a vintage watch but a lot of men think they are cool, in fact very cool.