Crafts for Kids with Chris - Flying Saucer

How I Keep My Pond Water Crystal Clear

As I was doing spring maintenance on our backyard pond today I saw the opportunity to pass on what I've learned about keeping pond water clear. Many people have asked me how I do it, especially people who have ponds. The fact is that it wasn't a simple step but a long process of trial and improvements to reach a simple method. I want to save you all that time and effort and tell you what I've learned. For those of you thinking "Just get to the end Dutch!", the secret is rocks. OK there you have it. Now I will get to the long explanation.
If you are seeking ways to keep your pond clear then it must be either cloudy or, most likely, opaque green. That is the condition I want to address the green water is a result of algae blooms. Cloudy water could have several causes but the rocks will help a great deal with those too. Algae blooms are a result of temperature and sunlight. If you live in a climate with cold winters you will not see the algae during winter. Algae needs warm temperatures to survive. Sunlight is the power behind photosynthesis and the green color is a giveaway that photosynthesis is going on. Plants use photosynthesis for energy to grow, breathe, pump water and all the stuff green plants do. Algae is a green plant that is in the air and consequently ends up in your pond. Once the conditions are right it will bloom and coat all the surfaces with a slimy green coat, and turn your water to pea soup.

Ignore the hype
Skip all the marketing hype out there. People will try to sell you chemicals, UV lamps, floating plants, pieces of copper and all kinds of other stuff that mostly makes them money, your money. There are probably a bunch of their ads in the margins of this blog. The chemicals are not a good idea for pond life no matter what the label claims. Even if you don't care about pond life and essentially want an ornamental pond full of swimming pool water you will have to buy chemicals constantly. UV lamps work but they carry a hefty price tag and ongoing electric consumption. Also you are once again killing more than just algae. Adding just the right amount of copper to hurt the algae but not your pond life is a balancing act that I put in the same category as chemicals. Floating plants or other methods of shading the pond to reduce sunlight and slow photosynthesis does what it says. The trouble is that the plants end up covering the entire pond surface so you still can't see your fish in there and chances are you still have algae anyway.

Biological critters
The most effective and sensible approach is a biological filter. That is a filter that uses biological organisms that compete with the algae for food and also break down organic waste that causes cloudiness. The biological critters we want to grow are bacteria. These bacteria do not eat algae, they eat what the algae eats. Once they start growing they will increase to a level where they use up the nutrients needed by the algae and the algae bloom will die. The bacteria will reach a critical mass that balances the available nutrients with the population of bacteria. The only side effects of this bacteria colony are clear water, and a brown coating on hard surfaces in the pond that does not hurt the aesthetics of the pond or it's eco-system.
How do we cultivate this benefical bacteria? Well it needs a few things to grow which we have to provide. Moving water is extremely important as are surfaces for the bacteria to grow on.
The moving water is provided by a pump. You will need to purchase a pump that is strong enough to pump the water from the lowest point in your pond to the highest point, which will be the biological filter inlet, and provide a relatively strong moving current throughout the pond system. This has to be a "solids handling" pump. That is a pump that will not get clogged with dirt and other water contaminants but pump them from the bottom of your pond system to the filter where they can collect.

You gotta rock!
The surface area is provided by rocks. Rocks with bumps, crannies, pores etc. The more convoluted the rocks the more surface area. Also the beneficial bacteria loves to live in little crevices.
Now there are vendors out there that will sell you all sorts of biological filters with all sorts of filter mediums. Plastic with holes in it, charcoal medium, etc. They will tell you that their filter medium is the best and it's been researched and tested blah blah. The fact is you have to buy it, and guess what? The guy telling you how great it is happens to sell it too. In my quest for clear water I tried many many mediums for the biological filer and the best medium I have found is also the cheapest; rocks. That's what works in natural streams and that is what works in moving pond water. Plastic does not work no matter how many holes are in it. I've tried hair curlers, army men, plastic building blocks, furnace filter material, (this blue stuff does not work at all save your time and effort. It seems like it would be great but it is not), women's hair pieces, rope, and many other things that seemed feasible as a bacteria habitat. Rocks win out over all others as the most effective, cheapest, easiest to maintain biological filter medium. This is no big secret, there are many others offering the same advice as me about using rocks, I'm just telling you to listen to them, don't waste time, get right to the rocks.
Now that I've sold you on rocks, how do we get them to become a pond filter? I'll show you how I make mine and you can do that or use the basic principle to build one that suits you. Basically you must pump the dirty water from the low part of the pond system through the rocks and keep it moving.

How to build it
I first started with a rubber tote box full of rocks and I perked the water up through the bottom of this and out the top into the top of my pond system. I got the plans from the internet somewhere, like I said there are others out there telling you to use rocks and how. My pond system consists of three pre-cast pond liners with cascading waterfalls between them. The top one is the smallest and after a while I decided to just make that into the biological filter and eliminate the box.
The trick is to get the water to percolate up through the rocks from the bottom. To do this I stood a PVC pipe in the middle of the rocks with holes in the bottom to push the water up from the bottom. Here is a picture of the inlet pipe with my pile of rocks. Notice the notches and holes at the bottom end to deliver the dirty water to the bottom of the filter.
I use a rectangle of PVC pipe that sits a few inches above the bottom of the filter vessel to stabilize the vertical feeder pipe. Mine came from a previous version of the filter so it has different fittings on it.
The idea is to create a space at the bottom of the filter below the rocks for the incoming water to churn and debris to collect. I put pieces of ceiling light grid material on it to hold the rocks up off the bottom. Fit this shelf to the container or prop it up off the bottom with a few good old rocks.

Now just fill the top with rocks up to a level that will be a few inches below the water surface when full. It's prettier that way. Use common sense when filling in the rocks. A lot of small rocks are better than fewer large ones. We are going for maximum surface area here. Mine are mostly granite because that is what is in the ground in my yard. I use larger rocks to plug the gaps in the plastic grate I use for a shelf. That way the smaller ones do not fall through. We want to preserve that open space below the rock bed. Pile a lot of smaller rocks around the feeder pipe, this is where the strongest up-current of water will be. You want to slow down the water and make it pass over as much rock surface as possible before reaching the top. I also have some large flat rocks next to the inlet pipe that provide a support for an iron pump I use to make the inlet pipe more decorative. You will notice that there is dirt included with the rocks, that will not hurt and actually will help get the bacteria started.
All that remains is to stick the outlet tube from your circulating pump down into the feeder tube and put a rock in there or something to prevent it from popping out.
I added an iron pump and a little bucket around the feeder tube to dress up the aesthetics then I just fed the circulating pump hose in through the bottom of the iron pump. Turn on the pump and the water should go down the feeder tube and out through the holes and notches forcing it up through the rocks. From there it enters your pond system.
To get the bacteria going purchase a bottle of biological filter bacteria at a pond supply store. This stinky stuff is expensive, expect to pay upwards of $20 for a bottle. If you do it correctly you will only have to buy it once and it is worth the money to get the initial jump-start working. Follow the directions and add a little every few days and watch your water for results.
Never turn your circulating pump off, it must run 24/7 for the bacteria to work. After some time the green water will turn brown, this is the algae dying. If you have any ornamental fountains or spitters with foam filters on them you may want to disable them until the water clears or they will clog every few minutes with the dead algae. Once the algae dies it is only a matter of a day or so before it all collects in the bottom of your biological filter and the pond becomes crystal clear.
You will see dark slime form on hard surfaces in your pond and especially the waterfalls this is the bacteria colony. The bacteria slime feels tacky not slippery. put your hand in the water and when you remove it and rub your fingers together it should not feel slippery but rather tacky. Then you know the beneficial bacteria is growing.

How to maintain it
To maintain your new bacterial eco-system keep the water moving at all times. I keep my pump running through winter and use a pond heater to prevent solid freeze overs. Then in spring preferably before the first algae bloom remove all the rocks and water from the filter then brush inside of the filter and rinse the rocks using only plain pond water. Replace the rocks and you are good for another year. This is to remove toxic buildup from the bottom of the filter that will make it uncomfortable for your pond life and also stink. I pour the dirty filter water in the garden it is high nitrogen fertilizer. Here is a good place to mention planting the rock bed with water plants. The theory that the plants will consume and thrive on the toxins is a sound one. I tried it and the failure point was that the plants thrived so well that thier roots filled the entire rock bed and the filtration process broke down. So take that vicarious experience for what it is worth.
This maintenance procedure keeps my pond's bacteria colony alive and I never have to buy the expensive stinky-stuff to jump-start it anymore. If your colony dies over winter or from a stop of water flow you can start a new one with the bottled bacteria, or if you are patient enough just run the filter, put a handful of dirt in and the bacteria will grow naturally although much slower at first. The bacteria will overpower algae blooms and break down fish waste and other organic pollutants forever by using the same rocks if you do this simple maintenance. Cheap, re-use-able, effective, ROCKS.

Gifts For Men are Designed to Appeal to Women

Or: Men would never buy manicure sets for themselves.

It’s the holiday shopping season so the Gifts for Men displays are prominently displayed. I’m talking about all the useless mini tool kits, cubicle sized sport and tavern games, golf tools, pocket crap and anything else only a woman would buy. The stuff is always cute. Cute little desktop dart games made of shiny brass, tiny green felt pool tables and roulette wheels. And of course the mainstay of all useless Gifts for Men; the mini tool kit. The reason it’s all cute is because it is designed to appeal to women. The displays should be labeled Gifts Women Like to Buy for Men.

Let’s start with the big one; The Mini Tool Kit. If you are buying this for a man who actually uses tools for things that require tools then buy one from an actual tool department. There are tool assortments that consist of quality tools, pocket multi-tools, and assortments that will actually be used. Stay away from the Gifts for Men display with a tool set that has a bunch of shiny plated soft-steel costume jewelry shaped like actual tools that is next to useless. This especially goes for manicure sets, any man that has one must have gotten it for a gift and will probably die without wearing it out.

Golf crap is next. I don’t know much about golf myself but I figure a bunch of good golf balls would be more appreciated than a gold plated combination divot tool and cigar cutter. Then there are the endless toy desktop putting greens, figurines, golf tees shaped like everything. Stuff that men would never buy themselves but a woman would think is a cute gift

Emergency car kits. OK emergency means you’re in deep and anything that can help in that situation is going to be a good thing. But why buy a gift you hope he never has to use. And how many times will he think of the nice gift you gave him tucked away back there in the trunk.

Cubicle crap. Any man who works at a desk and is on a female’s shopping list is a magnet for the mini-desktop darts game that is spotted in countless cubes and offices gathering dust but never being used. Usually a sheet of shiny brass with a dart target printed on a thin sheet of cork pasted to it and tiny thumbtack pointed darts. Sometimes the set includes a magnetic target and darts that are just as useless as the others. Often times there is a witty plaque saying Executive Darts or something like that. Somewhat more useful are the mini basketball hoops. This category is endless, mugs, mousepads, photo frames, kinetic sculptures and all that stuff a woman would find to be a good gift idea. If you want to get some cubicle crap that is occasionally useful then comic calendars, rear view monitor mirrors, mp3 players, USB powered thumb drives and somewhat more frivolous but bottom line fun are USB powered anything. Missile launchers, fans, lights, cameleon shaped cameras, coffee warmers whee!

Christmas anything. Men would never buy Christmas anything. Christmas underwear, socks, sweaters, ties, brain teasers with snowmen and Christmas trees for pieces, battery operated Christmas figures, wind-up Christmas figures, stationary Christmas figures. Let the kiddies buy this stuff for their dads and grandfathers who will have to wear and display them.

So the best rule of thumb is to avoid any Gifts for Men displays and any holiday patterns, sets, or packaging. That is a giveaway that they are over-priced and impractical. The object in buying for a man is to shoot for cool, not cute. If you must get him a toy go for a radio controlled mini indoor helicopter. Mini tool kit in a handy vinyl zipper pouch? Get a Leatherman. If you really want to buy him underwear then buy nice underwear, splurge on some good stuff that might be better than what he would buy himself. But avoid the Christmas patterns and stupid novelty packages. The same goes for other clothing.

Then of course it depends on the man and his habits but there are two age-old fail-safe staples of male gift giving; The box of cigars and the bottle of whiskey.

I hope this advice is useful to you or at least entertaining. If you truly are stuck for Gifts for Men try checking out my store at CallMeDutch.Com. There are many new and vintage watches and jewelry items there that men would like. That’s another subject I’ve observed; most women have no interest in buying a vintage watch but a lot of men think they are cool, in fact very cool.

I Love Tubes

Growing up with tubes

When I was a kid transistors were a new thing. Every device that needed high voltage used tubes. Radios, record players, amplifiers, televisions (another new thing), and electrical devices of all types used vacuum tubes. When you turned one of these devices on you had to wait a minute for it to warm up before it started working. The top of the sets would get very warm and the backs were open with perforated fiber board backs to let the heat escape and provide some degree of safety from the hot tubes and high voltage capacitors. The backs were easy to remove to provide access to the tubes when they needed replacing.

Good Weak Bad

Replacing the tubes wasn't too difficult. Servicemen were everywhere. They would even show up at your house with a huge case of tubes and swap out the offender in a jiffy. If the owner were the confident type who could manage to open the back and poke around inside without touching a capacitor and stopping his heart he could do it himself. Not only were servicemen everywhere but tube testers were everywhere. A cabinet full of tubes with an array of testing sockets on the top surface. They were in every appliance store, hardware store, drug store, & five and ten cent store. Really. You simply plugged your tube into the proper socket and hit the button and a meter told you if it was good, weak, or shot. Then you just found a new replacement by number in the drawers underneath the tester and bought it, cheap. American tube manufacturers made the best tubes and cranked them out in massive numbers. The stock still exists if you know where to look.

Pretty Cabinets

So the sets were larger then to accommodate the tube circuitry and provide sufficient ventilation. They were furniture, oh yeah I should add furniture stores to the tube tester list. Furniture stores sold radios and record players so they had records, needles and tubes also.
Back to the furniture, the sets became a part of the experience. They looked cool for decor, they got warm, they gave off a smell I still love, they glowed out the back and out of thier illuminated dials. They also sounded warmer, a hard thing to describe. Solid state proponents will argue this one adamantly forever but I think the tube amplification sounds better. There are a large percentage of musicians and hi-fi enthusiasts who agree enough to keep the vacuum tube industry alive today.

Whats a Tube?

I love tubes, if you follow my blog you know that I like old stuff. One of the old things I really like is devices that use vacuum tubes. What is a vacuum tube? To simplify the theory: If you pass an alternating current through an electrode and get it hot enough to glow, like a light bulb, it gives off electrons. Put a cool grid electrode next to the to hot one to catch the electrons and you have a one way current. You just changed AC to DC. Now add at least one more electrode and you have an amplifier. One thing necessary for this to work is that the circuit has to be in a hard vacuum, again like a light bulb. A harder vacuum is needed so the glass is thicker than a light bulb and the glass bulb is smaller and narrow. A vacuum tube.

Baseball Games on the Radio

In my watchmaking shop I listen to a 1946 Crosley tube radio. It receives signals on two bands; The AM band and the Short Wave band. It also has inputs in the back for a phonograph so people could amplify their record players through it. I connected a jack to the input so that I can play my Ipod or an FM reciever through it. Yes I lose the stereo doing that but this thing sounds cool. It's one big speaker puts out a nice full sound and there is a wide range tone control. Tube circuits just sound great. It takes a minute to warm up before any sound comes out then it glows out the dial and the back. The funky swirly bakelite cabinet and huge analog dial are just way cool.
Tubes n' Blues

All the amplifiers I use to perform blues music are tube circuits. Guitar players have their own reasons for preferring tubes and talk about sag and distortion etc. As a blues harmonica musician I can only say that if you are going to amplify harmonica, it will sound better through tube circuits. And besides I like old stuff, remember? Old amps are waaay up there on the coolness factor. Funky styling, point to point wiring, real wood cabinets all add up to desirability in my book. You have to modernize the power cords, those two-prong plugs are life-threatening dangerous. So that's a serious place where older is not better. Also disconnect any 'suicide switch' that may be found. It was a grounding polarity switch that was there to hack the weakness of the stupid two-prong power setup.
Besides upgrading the power cords I always buy a complete set of new old stock tubes for each of my amps. Then I put the originals, or at least the tubes that came with the amp when I got it, into a box as spares if needed. An unnecessary expense but one I have never regretted. A purchase of NOS tubes is an investment. The supply is getting smaller and demand is always there. Good quality old tubes can always be resold very easily, even used. I usually buy JAN (joint Army Navy) tubes which have heavier plates and mounts to withstand bouncing around and less than ideal conditions. That is because my amps get bounced around in the back of my pickup truck and stuff and...well they are just better tubes.

Treat em' Right

If you follow my recommendations and get a tube amp you have to treat them a little differently than solid state amps. They have to warm up before any sound comes out. Once warm it is best to keep them warm. Leaving the amp on the whole gig is better than turning it off and on each set. Some amps have a standby switch that keeps the tubes heated up while switching off the output till needed. Also they don't take kindly to spending the night in a vehicle where they are exposed to extremes. An amp tech..Hell it was Cesar Diaz! (look him up) told me that you should not let your tube amp spend the night in conditions that you would not want to spend the night yourself. Also you will have to find a tube amp technician to take care of the hums, clicks, pops, crackles, silence and any other problems you may encounter during your use and abuse of the amp. Do NOT just take it to the local music store to get serviced. Unless it is new under warranty and I'm not talking about new amps here. First ask around among other musicians who have old tube amps to find out who the local amp gurus are. Perhaps it is the local music shop technician. But find out first. Ask guys that know their amps, not all working musicians do. Find a good amp tech whose work you like and build a working relationship with him. These guys are good to know.

Play around with your amp, try the knob settings in different ways until you discover that sweet tube tone. There are books written about setting up and diaing in tube amp tone. If you are tempted to buy one you may just find that all it ends up saying is "play around till you find what you like." Learn how to dial your amp in in different venues, in the dark, in a rush etc. Get to know your amp and build a working relationship with it too.

I love tubes.

The Crossroads Blues Legend

Blues Men go to the Crossroads

There is a legend that lives among blues men about the crossroads. Perhaps you have heard of it or seen movies that tell of it. I want to explain my perspective on it and hopefully dispel some of the evil connotations that Hollywood and hearsay have perpetuated.

Let's Make a Deal

A musician does not sell his soul to the devil. First of all the guardian of the crossroads is not the devil. The whole legend has nothing to do with Satan.
The devil story only perpetuates because the average story-perpetuating type person finds that one easier to understand. It's the old pre-christian, devil's bondservant legend; "A person trades his immortal soul for some mundane thing he wants to get without working for it. Without his soul he ends up miserable anyway and the devil adds another soul to his tally." The real legend is much better. The roots of this legend are in Hoodoo, the African American traditional folk magic. The crossroads represent the place where the spirtual magic world meets the mundane. The keeper of the threshold between them is the man to deal with if one wants to obtain skills. He doesn't give a person wealth and power in exchange for his soul. He is a teacher, one who opens the way. Skills of manual or physical dexterity and knowledge are the prize. The price is simply a willingness and desire to attain them. It could be the skills of a musician, dancer, actor, gambler etc. Sounds easy huh?

Here's The Creepy Part

Simply show up at the crossroads at the right time and bring your instrument. Bring the instrument you desire to become proficient at; musical intrument, dice, shoes, voice whatever. I'm writing about blues men so let's say you want to become a blues entertainer. Bring your instrument to the crossroads. The crossroads can be any crossing of two traveled routes. It can be two roads, streets, paths, even game trails. Just so two of them cross and living things travel them. There are different teachings as to what time to be there. Some say midnight, some say dawn, all of them pertain to darkness. Some say to bring graveyard dirt with you, I guess it adds to the spookiness.
Start playing and the legend says a living thing will approach you or go past you. Usually it speaks of animals coming around first. Could be any animal but it will always be black. After that a black man will approach. Not a man of black race, a man who is the color black. This appearance is accompanied by wind, noise or other general spookiness and at this point it is important that you keep playing. If he does not show up the first night you must return again and again up to nine nights until he does. Now the legend says that the man will do one of several things; pass by at lightning speed, take your instrument and tune it, play it, or just inspect it or ask you questions. You are to co-operate and not run away no matter how scary it gets. Once this encounter is past you will have new-found skills. That's the story anyway.

Was it the devil?

The black man was the keeper of the threshold represented by the crossroads. African folk religions call him Legba. Voodoo calls him Ellegua. In ancient Rome he was Mercury. In India he is called Bhairava. In Mexico he is Maximon or Saint Simon. Many names but the role is the same he is the spirit who opens the way, guards the crossroads, and teaches wisdom.


Want to try it?

Now I want to talk to any blues men who may happen to be reading this. If you are not superstitious and it would never even occur to you to try something like this then glean what novelty you can from the information I have provided. If you are of the type that may think "Magic can't hurt. Might be something to it?" and you are curious about this legend...are you curious enough to try it? Just be sure you know what you are wishing for. And be sincere in your motives. Looking for an easy way to become a good musician without work is not going to turn out pleasant. If you want to be a blues musician you are going to have to work and practice at it. That's what good musicians do. And being a blues musician may mean you have to stop being what you were to become something that may not be so glamorous as you thought. One night when you are coming home from a gig and you stop at a remote crossroads and it happens to be around midnight. Take out your axe and start playing. A lot of times nothing will happen but sometimes... Did I ever try it myself you ask? Well that is one of the things about practicing Hoodoo; you can't tell anybody about it or you ruin it.

Want to know more?
If you want to research the crossroads ritual past my personal theories and get real information
on it go to the Crossroads page on Cat Yronwodes' Lucky Mojo site. Tell her The Dutchman sent ya.

A Christmas Tradition

Making of the 2008 Diefenderfer Christmas Brass

If You Love Something Wear it Out

I like old stuff.

But I don’t hang it on the wall or put it in display cases. I use the stuff.
Well I do hang some on the wall. I have a nice collection of watchmaker trade cards and advertising signs that cover the walls of my watch making shop. But the antique watch making and jeweler’s tools all get used. When I restore a vintage watch for myself, I wear it. When I buy a vintage yo-yo, even a “collectible”, I play it hard and put wear on it. I have several vintage tube amplifiers which get knocked around and used on blues band gigs all the time.

You see I believe that this stuff was made to be used so it should keep being used. Now I love museums and preserving specimens of things for future generations to see is a good thing. I realize that many museum collections and even museums themselves evolved from private collections but you won’t see that happening with any of my stuff. That is unless I’ve worn something out and it can’t be used for it’s intended purpose any more and someone still thinks it is worth displaying somewhere.

Old Tools are Cool Tools





Some of the jeweler’s tools residing in my vintage bench are over 100 years old. Most average around 50. I like them for several reasons;

• Old tools were often made better. More time was spent on the manufacturing process back when manpower was plentiful and cheaper. Making a reputable product was more important than stripping the process down to the cheapest and quickest methods. Quality materials were used with fewer synthetics, wood, American steel, brass, leather etc. Natural materials are not always better than many of today’s synthetics but I prefer them.

• Old tools are way cooler. I find wood handles and cases to be nicer than plastics, not as durable but cool. Also they wear, I like to watch wear develop, more on that later. More attention was given to aesthetics decades ago. Products were made to be functional and good looking. One of my vintage watch making books says that a tool should not only serve its function but also look good so that a watchmaker is proud to leave it out in the open. Polishing, engraving, special shapes and materials, and fine cases that do not enhance the function but add to the beauty were used on basic tools as well as the high-end models.

• Old tools are way cheaper. This is probably the most driving reason to purchase used vintage tools. If the technology hasn’t changed too drastically from the time the tool was made a lot of money can be saved. In a dying field like vintage watch making or jeweler this is easy. When everyone had a mechanical watch there were thousands of watchmakers everywhere. Now their tools still exist but the number of watchmakers has dwindled to hundreds so there are more tools than demand for them.

• Old tools fit the old methods. I work on old watches using old watch making methods. Many of the tools I use regularly are the exact ones pictured or referred to in old watch making lessons. This makes procedures easier to understand and skills easier to develop.

Music Sounds Better Through Old Gear

Only one of my four tube amps is younger than 45 years old and that is a ’59 re-issue. All of them are used for gigs. I think they sound better than new amps. I like everything about old tube amps. I like the way they look, the way they sound and even the smell. There is an aroma of hot tubes in an old cabinet after a gig that lingers while I carry the amp to the car and even in the car. I like that smell. The wiring and components are hand installed and soldered with point to point wiring, no circuit boards here. Once again, there was more time and effort spent building these old amps. Mostly because that was the state of the art and they had to do it that way. The fact that high-end boutique amps are still made that way today tells me that there were other advantages to these old methods. I prefer the old ones and I play them hard. This makes it necessary to know at least one trustworthy amp technician who uses the old ways to keep these things working. (He probably uses old tools too.), Also needed is ongoing cabinet maintenance. As these things get tossed around through loading and unloading the cabinets sometimes begin to come apart. That requires re-gluing tolex and joints or adding corner braces. I still would rather see these beauties bouncing around in the back of a hot pickup truck on the way to a gig than sitting in someone’s collection room with the capacitors drying out from non-use. I think a Fender tweed with the tweed all tattered and frayed and the corners all bashed playing on a stage is more beautiful than a pristine one in on display that no one can touch.

Toys! Play em Hard!

My yo-yo collection is more of a rotation than a collection. Every one of them is played hard. Every one of them spends the day in my pocket sooner or later in the rotation. Included in the vintage wood rotation is a No-Jive 3in1, Duncan Beginners, matching Duncan Butterfly and Satellite models, and several other old yo-yos that fit the “collectibles” status. All are old originals not re-issues. They get wear from my hand, string friction, hitting objects and every other type of accumulative wear that goes along with playing with a yo-yo and having fun with it. Each has an evolving character, a physical log of it’s hours of play. I could have hung them on the wall or displayed them in a case and they would still look as nice as when I got them. I do not feel that I could ever get near the amount of enjoyment out of possessing, looking, holding, and maybe playing with them gently and carefully fearing any nick or scrape. Even selling them at a profit after holding them over time could not match up unless it is one impressive profit and I’m not really interested in taking that route.

Enjoyment is directly proportional to wear.

Tools and toys showing the most wear are the most enjoyed. If a tool is hard or unpleasant to use it will not be reached for as often as it’s competition. There is a saying I’ve heard Pennsylvania Dutchmen say; “This tool likes my hand.” Toys demonstrate my theory even better. An awesome shiny $40 theme toy that makes lights and sounds often sits unused and remains shiny while a $1 yo-yo has the paint wore off and a dirty string or a $3 Whiffle bat is bent, scuffed and nicked. Skateboards have their edges ground off but video games are cast aside as soon as a newer one comes out because now it is boring. It is easy to pick out which toys are more fun in those examples.

Dogs Know it.

When my dog brings me a toy to tug I realized that he isn’t saying “let’s play tug”. He is saying “help me yank this thing to pieces. Let’s have fun!” I’ve watched him chew a hole in a stuffed toy and pull out the stuffing bit by bit. He doesn’t want to eat the stuffing or play with the toy without the stuffing. He just wants to have fun pulling it apart. It is simple to pick out which toys my dog enjoys. The ones that are destroyed or in some process of being destroyed.

Kids Know it.

Yesterday I was playing with my 6 year old grandson. I have a couple of well used $3 friction motor plastic monster trucks that we play with sometimes when he comes to my house. We were playing on an old slide on the abandoned playground next to my place. This is a twelve foot slide and it occurred to me that it would be fun to run the trucks on it. After a short time and a lot of fun and laughter we got to the point where we were sending the trucks off the top of the slide using it as “The worlds most dangerous high jump ramp.” Pieces were coming off the trucks and we were inflicting a lot of damage but having a blast. We ended up with a little “junkyard” of broken car parts at the bottom to warn drivers of the dangerous jump but they went anyway! Agggh! Crash! Hahaha! Ok this cost me $6 for the trucks which already had hours of fun play on them but we had priceless fun playing then HARD. I sprung $40 for a movie theme toy a few years ago that he never wants to play with and we logged about 1 hour total play on that turkey.
Like I said; Enjoyment is directly proportional to wear.

Old Guys Know it.

I totally understand the collector rationale. I’ve had collections of things which I preserved and diligently protected their pristine newness. I wish now that I had allowed my young daughter to bend and read my old comics without being scared she would hurt them. (the advent of EBay killed my dreams of getting rich with them.) I’m passing on something I learned over many years. The enjoyment, satisfaction, and profits of collectibles never could match the all out fun of enjoying using them. So if you must collect, collect only things you like to use. Then use them, hard.

You may enjoy possessing and looking and holding but it’s never equal to kick-out-the-jambs playing.